potofsoup

The other day I came across on tumblr this post, which contains within it, a great "Bechdel Test" for Disability Representation:

1) There’s a Disabled character
Just one necessary, ‘cause a lot of Abled writers like to stick us in flocks of (what they perceive as) “our own kind,” and a lot of disabled people are the only ones in their immediate family or (mainstream) classroom.

2) Who wants something for themselves
Rather than being an “inspiration” for an abled person, or the proverbial cat to be rescued in a “save the cat” scenario, to prove the hero’s goodness.

3) Besides Revenge, Cure, or Death,
In other words, the thing they want is not defined by their disability.

4) And tries to get it.

And I love it SO MUCH because I feel like it can also be cross-applied to measure other forms of representation, as in:
1) The character exists
2) and wants something for themselves
3) besides the standard tropes for that type of character
4) and tries to get it

#2 and 4 are basically a test of "are they a story-driving character in their own right?", and #3 really allows the character to move beyond the dominant narrative about that type of character. Do women get to be something more than a supportive mother, sister or daughter? Does the Asian character get to be good at something besides math or move beyond the immigrant/orientalizing narrative?

(And no, MCU, Helen Cho doesn't count, even if AoU marginally passed the Bechdel test on a technicality)

Challenge #11
In your own space, create a fanwork.

Well, I was procrastinating on writing semester evals just now (gotta write 22 today!!), and wrote this little snippet that made me laugh. I'm probably going to cut most of it from the final work (it's a little too light-hearted), so here ya go --

( Steve thinks the Winter Soldier is stalking him )

Challenge #1: In your own space, introduce yourself!

I think I have some intro post somewhere, but it's also fun to do new intro posts, so here's 5 random facts about me:

1) I find Arting to be so fun and easy, but writing is like pulling teeth. Although sometimes when I'm writing fic I'm like "wait, I can just ... move this phrase??? without having to re-plan these 4 comic pages?" which is kind of an amazing feeling.

2) I mostly socialize by either (a) making something and showing to other people and then running away, or (b) having far too many opinions about stories. I'm really bad at synchronous conversations or multi-people conversations. This is made worse by the fact that I make my living teaching high school history, which means that 80% of my work life is about having highly structured conversations where I get to set the topic. That said, I think I'm okay with one-on-one asynch convos, so feel free to comment, friend me on Discord (potofsoup#8889), or email me (potofsoupyfeels at gmail)

3) My spouse doesn't drink, so I drink very rarely. When drinking, I prefer gin and tonics and sorghum wine mixers. My true vice is boba, to the point that I made sure our home is within a 15 minute walk of boba, and we go 3-4 times a week, with our own boba cups and straws in order to reduce waste. I also love milk chocolate, but for an atypical reason. Most milk chocolate is marketed as sweeter than dark chocolate, whereas I actually look for *creamier* and not necessarily sweeter. This is actually surprisingly hard to find. My splurge item would be Scharfenberger 42% extra creamy, but usually I just get Guittard milk chocolate baking chips (they're easy to find, reasonably priced, and slave free!)

4) My parents run a heritage language weekend Chinese school, so I grew up reading Chinese and also associating Chinese language with Chinese culture. I've slowly grown out of that, but it's been a long path of examining my biases towards what counts as "culture." Does language help someone access their heritage culture? Definitely. Does it help someone do so at a "deeper" or "better" level than food or family values or ritual? eh. Anyways, complicated feelings that get even more complicated as I contemplate my child's Chinese education. (Spouse doesn't speak Chinese. She's been in bilingual preschools up to this point, but should she apply for a bilingual elementary school? Have I given up on part of my heritage by only rarely eating rice?)

5) I learned HTML in high school in 2000 by checking out "HTML 3 for Dummies" from the local library. Even now I prefer to use tables and javascript scares me. I also use legacy tags like b and i instead of strong and em, but idgaf. I have a personal website that I made back in 2007, and a comics website that I made in... 2018??


Anyways, that's my intro post. I hope I haven't repeated too many things from before.

Oh hey, this might as well be a place as long as I'm oversharing -- if you have any questions about me, feel free to leave a comment, anon or otherwise, and I'll answer. Anything ranging from "what's your general coloring style" to "how many pillows do you sleep with" to "what countries have you traveled to" to "cats or dogs?" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm in that tiny window of several days of free-ish evenings, since I've finally finished grading the batch of Essay #3 and Essay #4 won't be dropping until the end of the semester (I crunched the numbers and apparently every semester I grade ~270 essays wooo).

Next semester we might move to a quarter model, and I'll probably be teaching 2 hour blocks on campus in a cohort system. We'll see! Might be fun to just shuffle all the lesson plans in a madcap way. And maybe fewer essays overall! Also, I went to get a cheek swab test today and omg it's so much nicer than the nose-probe tests that I've been doing in the previous weeks.

Anyways, I recently discovered that I had 19 WIPs on my desktop, so for Thanksgiving break I spent one of my two child-free days banging out 4 of those wips. I've since added 3 more, but hopefully over the next few weeks I'll whittle that down again. My goal is to get down to 5-8 by the end of winter break. :) The childling will be at home, but hopefully spouse and I will have shifts that allow us to do some of our own stuff, too.

My school's Marvel Club started a discord, where the kiddos would post occasional discussion questions, which is totally adorable! I'm trying not to fandom everywhere, but instead be a Very Respectable Teacher Advisor. Anyway, one question was "If you could go back and retcon or just generally change one thing from the MCU what would it be and why?" and I got a little carried away, so I'm posting my answer here, as well, especially since it helped me articulate some of my frustrations with Civil War.

I would make Tony's characterization in the post-IM3 movies more consistent to the character strides that Tony made in IM3 re: his anxieties and how he finds his self worth. I would also remove Iron Man from the third Captain America movie.

Iron Man had a nice arc in its trilogy about Tony eventually trusting himself and being genuine to himself and to his friends and loved ones. Captain America had an interesting arc in its first 2 movies about what is worth fighting for and what is worth living for, and I was really looking forward to a third movie that tied the arc together and resolved some character issues.

Like, we *know* that Avengers movies don't really have room for character arcs because there's 15 million boxes they have to check re: setting up the next 10 movies and wrapping up a bajillion threads. Everyone gets to say one line before the hour that is dedicated to punching. Which is why the individual movies are where the character arcs are supposed to happen. Except that RDJ/Feige hijacked the Cap3 movie to make it about the Avengers and the larger world stakes instead of the personal stakes of Steve Rogers.

Imagine a Cap3 movie where Zemo still frames Bucky for the UN bombing, and Steve still has to stake his convictions against the world, but this time, it's his convictions about a single person. And this is at a moment where Bucky himself feels the weight of his actions as the Winter Soldier. That, paired with the parallels of Zemo and T'Challa seeking revenge for his family... what is revenge, and what is justice? How do you figure out what's the right thing to do? How do you take responsibility for wrongs that you have committed? And do you choose the needs of the world for a Captain America, or the needs of Steve to finally stop being a soldier and come home? Those themes are in Civil War, sure, but it's all second fiddle to the "team cap" "team iron man" stuff. So much of Civil War is spent picking sides, recruiting unnecessary characters (Ant-Man, Spiderman, etc), and then having the whole Siberian base red herring with Tony. The movie's Civil War framing made it hard to actually explore Steve as a character, which should have been the point of a Cap movie.

Avengers level movies always end up picking the most generic form of a character -- Tony is a billionaire playboy genius who is underappreciated and always right. Steve is an ornery octogenarian who cares too much about doing what's right. Thor drinks beer and never does anything to show why he would be worthy of mjolnir, etc etc. The characters are always in service to the plot, and in service to "audience reaction." For example, initial audiences came out of Civil War too pro-Steve, and also shipping Steve/Bucky too much, so they added a kiss between Steve and Sharon that also does disservice to Sharon's character, and tweaked stuff until test audiences came out half-and-half. Similarly, Steve's ending in Endgame was apparently also repeatedly tweaked. Like, this is the studio changing main characterization beats based on the needs of the plot to generate the kind of audience reaction that allows them to achieve revenue goals.

Fine, I can accept that AoU, Civil War, and IW/Endgame regressed the character arc that Tony achieved through the Iron Man trilogy, even though it kind of sucks that there are more movies where Tony is the main character and where he *doesn't* resolve any of his issues, BUT at least IM3 exists as a way that provides that character resolution. Steve Rogers really doesn't have that. He never gets to truly come home, because all the movies where he should have been able to, he's been shuttled around for the sake of some larger MCU plot needs and not given a chance to really grapple with his personal issues. Civil War does a disservice to both Tony and Steve's characterizations, and I remain pissed that that's what happened to the third Captain America movie. I'm supposed to walk out of a Captain America movie with feelings about Steve Rogers -- his struggles and his convictions, and *not* some manufactured animosity toward half the Avengers.

Thankfully fanfic exists and I can just have Steve tell Tony that Bucky killed Tony's parents as the Winter Soldier, like, 2 days after the events of CATWS and not 2 years later. It's more consistent with Steve's characterization (why would he hide information, and he always goes headfirst into things), and with Tony's (he would have found the information and he hates not knowing something).

awwww yissss now that I know how to fix the comic shrink problem.... here's a comic I did last night!


( 1 more page )

It's Witcher, but that actually doesn't matter that much -- basically Eskel works long into the night, but Geralt always makes sure to stay awake and give him sleepytime cuddles. :3

I had a lot of fun figuring out how to color this with only 5 grays. Definitely some bits I would still change, but I feel like I learned something while doing it, too. :D

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25657351/chapters/64083544

All of the Vote by Mail!!!! guides that I'm seeing are not taking into consideration:

1) When the ballot actually gets mailed out by the local election office (the time range goes from 20 days to 45 days), which you should subtract another 14 days from, due to post office shenanigans.

2) Whether the ballot requires extra verification -- some states require a notary, which will be super easy to find during this pandemic, right?

3) Whether there is a safe drop-off location that won't be vandalized -- some places have early voting open 10 days before, and others actually specify that the mail-in ballot has to be dropped off 1 day BEFORE election day.

So, for example, in California, the ballots get mailed out 30 days before election day, which means that I'll probably be getting my ballot ~2 weeks before election day. In-person early voting and ballot drop-off opens 4 weeks before election day, so I'll be able to deposit the ballot as soon as I get it.

Alabama, on the other hand, mails out the ballot 45 days in advance, but requires either 1 notary or 2 adult witnesses to sign the ballot, and does not have early voting. The ballots are due at the local election office by NOON on election day, and can only be mailed or hand-delivered. So if you have easy access to 2 adults who can sign your ballot, you'll probably get the ballot ~Oct 1, and if you mail it by Oct 10 or so, it'll probably arrive to the election office in time, but you can also hand deliver it any time before Election day.

Anyways, in addition to my Vote comic, I also made a spreadsheet with some of this information. I still need to go through it state-by-state to see whether there are any major changes to when the ballots get mailed out, but it's a good place to start.

What I love about fandom is that it's consumption, creation, and socialization, all rolled into one. I get to read interesting stories, make my own, and feel connected to other people!

But all of that also takes *time*, and brainspace. I've been slowly but inexorably pulled into Witcher fandom and yes it's exciting, I love all the fics and discussion and new fandom energy. (someone help me I had a ridiculous comic idea) But also -- I'm staying up far too late to read fic and screwing over my ability to be functional the next day. I'm shoving childcare duty onto Hoosband in order to read more fic. I scrolled through tumblr and chatted with fandom friends online instead of hanging out with Hoosband, who is socialization-starved. I've been neglecting my other creative projects.

So, I need to cut.

In the past 3 years, I quit reading tumblr so that I could have time to work. Then I quit modding. I've 90% quit Discord/Slack. I've basically been able to keep "doing fandom" only in that I read a few fics based on subscriptions or recs, and I motivate myself to draw sometimes. It's... barely half a fandom experience -- I draw because I can't *not* draw, but since I've basically cut the socialization down to nothing and the consumption to very little, I don't feel like I'm part of any fandom conversation, which then makes me not want to draw to add to the conversation.

This kinda sucks, and isn't exactly "doing fandom." It's this shitty half-life where I'm neglecting both my family and my fandom friends.

So, now that I've lost 1 week+ to Witcher, what are my options?

Option 1 is to keep doing what I'm doing. Don't fall into a new fandom, keep reading some Cap fics and maybe draw 2-3 fanarts a year. The Zoom Streams have been nice, since I've been able to actually get fandom socialization. (and continue living the half-life)

Option 2 is to stop fandom stuff until I can actually scrounge up the hours in the day that I'd need to for a full fandom experience. Focus on family and friends in real life, focus on original work and other projects, instead of fan stuff. (but I'd miss it, and who's to say something inane would just rise to fill its place?)

Option 3 is to re-shuffle my fandom priorities -- instead of cutting my socialization down to nothing, cut down my creative endeavors? Figure out a way to put strict limits on fic reading? Find socialization channels that work for me? (aka something either totally asynchronous or totally synchronous, not that weird uncanny valley that is Discord)

Basically, over the last few weeks, fandom has expanded to be 2-4 hours per day, and I need to stuff it back down to 2-4 hours per *week*.

Anyway, none of this is new to anyone but me, so ... any suggestions?

Watched it this past Sunday.

Nile is adorable, I can totally understand why fandom is gaga over the Crusade husbands, and Andy (like all world-weary warrior women) makes me weak in the knees.

That said,

1) I'm kind of tired of stories where violence solves problems. (Where are the stories where community solves problems?)

and

2) The ending.

( spoilers for the ending )

Whelp, I've been pushing myself pretty hard these last few days to get Rutabaga comics across the finish line (I'm so close! 1 more page to ink, and then a bit more shading for 2 pages... After that, there's 2 more one-pagers, one that I want to do but haven't drafted, and one that I've drafted but feel kind of meh about. In any case, even without those 2, I'd be at 23 pages for booklet 3, which is a healthy number.) It's a little embarrassing that my self-imposed end line for the comics is Rutabaga's 3rd birthday, and now she's nearing 4.5. But I guess such is the life of working more than full time and having the child running about.

As a result of me pushing myself too hard, I've (a) watched a lot of Untamed while inking, and (b) fallen prey to a day-long migraine today. :( (Poor Hoosband has been on child duty ALL day) I'm doing well enough to type a little on a dark screen, and I held it together long enough to do the final export and posting of my FTH comic, here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638955, but probably should stop after this update.

Anyway, The Untamed! After watching the "petty low-class slut" trope duel it out with the "bitter over-strong woman" trope in episode 15, I almost stopped watching, because I was just so tired of the lack of actual awesome women in the show. So then I wrote myself a little ficlet with crossdressing genderqueer Lan Zhan, which has thus greatly improved my watching of the show.

I'm at episode 29 now, and once I hit episode 18, I was like ... "oh, THAT's why people like this show," which is that it hit the classic storyline of "main character makes massive self sacrificial move but has to keep it secret from everyone, and everyone misjudges him as a result" thing. That stuff is such a core part of so many stories I read as a kid, all of the societal mudslinging. And the fact that said self-sacrifice is (a) painfully obvious to the viewer and (b) not revealed for the next 30-ish episodes is like, primo suffering. I... hm. I actually don't enjoy that sort of suffering that much, so I may skip ahead to get the resolution and in-story reveal. Maybe watch until ep 33 and then skip to ep 43.

I've also been enjoying the ramped up gayness of the show. The part where WWX tells LZ that he considers him a soulmate is kinda awkward since the Chinese is 知己, "a person who truly knows my self", which I like A LOT more than "soulmate". Wonder how fandom is handling that. But also, the moment where Lan Zhan is like "I wanna take him home and keep him hidden" is like "awww, are you sure you're not a possessive dragon, cause that's such a western dragon thing." Anyways, much gays.

But also, these last few days I experienced an update to the Accidental Warlord series in Witcher fandom, and, man, that fic 'verse just gives me so many happy feelings. People being kind to each other and striving to be better! Democracy working! BAMFs doing good work and being valued! It's just such a safe place to while away the hours by rereading. :3

Next week we're going to send Miss Rutabaga to preschool on MTF ... hopefully it won't be too hard on her, while also giving us some time to simply THINK.