(no subject)

[potofsoup]

you know, I really like the people here -- I like reading through my friends list, I like finding out about people's days, I like being able to shoot off a quick comment with one click. But I hate that I feel so much trepidation about posting here. I know logically that 1 person who doesn't even follow me shouldn't make me feel like this. But it does.

I've been trying to figure out why I prefer posting on AO3, Patreon, tumblr, and heck, even my personal DW, so much more than here, and I think it traces back to being told, by one person through multiple comments in different spaces, that I have no right to be on this site and having my basic skills and knowledge challenged. I get enough of this feeling of "you don't belong here" and "you don't have the right credentials" as part of daily life, thankyouverymuch. I know logically that my reading list is full of awesome people and that this is a safe space. But it still doesn't feel like one. Posting here makes me feel exposed in a way that's not true in all the other spaces.

I hate that that's true, so I'm going to try to fight against this subconscious trepidation a bit more. But in case you're wondering why you see more of me in other spaces, this is part of the reason why.

Comments

[lou2]

People who deliberately make other people feel self conscious or unsafe piss me off. I spent a crap load of my school life fending off real people just like that. Eventually I got to the point where I could truly feel like I didn't give a crap any more about people I was never going to respect.

Then after having kids I have to give a crap again about what random jackasses think because it might affect how my kids are treated. I do not recommend moving back to the same small town after graduating college. I'm still glad I did it because it meant a few more years with my dad before he died. But geez they bullshit is never ending.

But real life definitely gave me a good basis for ignoring the trolls and shit stirrers on social media.

And not that I know how but can't you block asshats like that from even seeing your page, let alone commenting on it?

I don't really have a recommendation because it's different for everyone. But it might not be worth it if it causes more stress. Because I'm fairly certain most people could use less stress.

I'm not here often, but if you want it, you have my support.

[minoanmiss]

One can definitely ban a user on DW so they can't comment anymore.

I want to SMITE this person, my favorite Soup. I'm in your corner too.

[potofsoup]

Thanks dear! <3

[gingicat]

Hear hear.

[potofsoup]

Thank you for the always-important reminder to not give a crap about such people. (and aiyah, I guess I'll have to worry about that soon for Miss Rutabaga!)

And thank you for the note about blocking -- I'll look into how to do that on DW. I don't think it's someone going out of their way to troll me, at least not since the initial incident. Nowadays it's just that whenever I encounter said person (sometimes through a comment on another person's post,) it's like they're suddenly reminded that I, a mosquito, exists.

[goss]

Hey, I hope I haven't increased your trepidation by coming here via network. But I had to tell you that I think you're pretty cool. And am so grateful for all the work you did for artyuletide, and I am glad for your presence here. :)

Also what you talked about really hit me. It sucks. I'm sorry. I can't tell you how much I completely understand. I've been here on DW for so long, but one or two bad encounters can really ruin the feeling of safety and comfort. I have even contemplated moving platforms altogether because of it.

We often speak of home and community when it comes to fandom spaces, but experiences like this can really shatter that reality and make you realise the fragility of it all. :/

*sending you lots of support*

[potofsoup]

oh, not at all! Happy to see you! :D

I definitely miss our artyuletide times! I'm hoping maybe I can cobble together the time to run it again this year.

Thank you for all your words of support and understanding. I think I usually have a thicker skin than this, but it's just a message that particularly hits home. Hope you're doing well! <3

[goss]

*hugs*

I definitely miss our artyuletide times! I'm hoping maybe I can cobble together the time to run it again this year.

I miss it too. That would be wonderful, if possible. :)

[mific]

I'm so sorry you were harassed by that troll, it sounds horrible. Block them, for sure!

[potofsoup]

:thumbsup: apparently that's a thing, so I'll look into how to do it! <3

[nyctanthes]

Boo! I love your posts and your art. And even if I didn't, you have every right to be here. People who use social media to make others feel bad (and themselves feel good and righteous) are the worst.

:: support support ::

[potofsoup]

::hug:: thank you! Yeah, I think it's mostly me getting hit where I'm particularly vulnerable -- I don't think it's a conscious thing for this person, well, not since the initiating incident. :) Our interactions since then have mostly been this person noticing a comment from me and being like "oh, you're still here and you still don't know anything." Which is unfair of them but I really shouldn't let myself get bothered by this stuff. :shrug:

(And for me, part of moving on is naming the thing, which this post has helped with!)