potofsoup | (no subject)

you know, I really like the people here -- I like reading through my friends list, I like finding out about people's days, I like being able to shoot off a quick comment with one click. But I hate that I feel so much trepidation about posting here. I know logically that 1 person who doesn't even follow me shouldn't make me feel like this. But it does.

I've been trying to figure out why I prefer posting on AO3, Patreon, tumblr, and heck, even my personal DW, so much more than here, and I think it traces back to being told, by one person through multiple comments in different spaces, that I have no right to be on this site and having my basic skills and knowledge challenged. I get enough of this feeling of "you don't belong here" and "you don't have the right credentials" as part of daily life, thankyouverymuch. I know logically that my reading list is full of awesome people and that this is a safe space. But it still doesn't feel like one. Posting here makes me feel exposed in a way that's not true in all the other spaces.

I hate that that's true, so I'm going to try to fight against this subconscious trepidation a bit more. But in case you're wondering why you see more of me in other spaces, this is part of the reason why.