July COVID thoughts

[potofsoup]

When our area went into lockdown mid-March, I thought "okay, this is probably going to last a month, maaaaybe to the end of the school year," and sure, having both of us work from home while Miss Rutabaga is running underfoot kinda sucked, and it sucked to have to postpone her 4th birthday party, which I was really looking forward to (I'd postponed it to late May, optimist that I was), but whatever, it's just a month, maybe 3 months tops.

In June I was like "okay, this may last until September, maybe December." And now, I think it's fair to stop thinking about this as a temporary thing, but something on the time scale of 1-2 years. So I need to shift from thinking of it as "a temporary situation to get through" to "How will I live in these situations for the next 2 years."

Thankfully, mask-wearing + social distancing seems pretty effective. I'm still trying to find a good fabric mask, but for the time being, those blue surgical masks seem to work all right. We need to start teaching Miss Rutabaga to wear masks more consistently. We also live in a place where outdoor gatherings is very doable for much of the year, and Zoom meetings fills up the rest of the socialization gap.
I think my basic rule of thumb will be:
- social distance of >6 ft
- mask if walking downtown (where sometimes I'm walking by someone <6 ft distant) but if just walking around the neighborhood, no mask when passing someone of >10 ft.
- mask if talking with anyone outside household, especially if >5 minutes interaction
- avoid situations of >10 people, >30 minutes if possible, especially if indoors.
- mask if indoors

Now, the problem is that when work starts in August the situations of >10 people, >30 minutes will not be viable. Even if my school doesn't open in person, I don't think the both of us working + Miss Rutabaga at home is sustainable. It was doable, barely, for 3 months, with both of us trying to squeeze 40 hours of work into ~20 hours a week. It's not sustainable for a full year or more. Right now, her preschool is technically reopen, in 10 people stable groups, and with the class practicing social distancing and a lot of independent play. It's... not the best, because she won't be getting a lot of socialization, but we need to be able to actually work.

Which... I wish we as a society can have a conversation about. I feel like part of what's making America be so bad at this whole lockdown thing is that so much of our livelihood depends on continued work. Or at least, we think it does.

Anyways, August is going to be a lot of increased risk for us (unless one of us quit our job), so the next step is to sit down with Hoosband and plot out exactly how much time we can put into work and child care that is sustainable and doesn't have either of us constantly at the edge of a meltdown.

Comments

[nyctanthes]

I feel you. I settled on "until some time in 2022" back in April or May. But it doesn't matter. Because as long as school is up in the air we're in a holding pattern in terms of figuring out things more specifically with work (which for both of us is currently in a state of flux). My kids are much older/more self sufficient than Miss Rutabaga; but all of us in a single apartment, trying to get work done is tough. There's the physical, of course, but one also needs a certain amount of mental/emotional space in order to work. And there's none of that, these days. (Boundaries? Privacy? What are those any more?)

[przed]

I feel for everyone who has little kids during this time. I hope you find a balance that keeps you all safe and mentally healthy, and allows for the Rutabaga to get some measure of the socialization she needs. There's starting to be conversations up here, north of the border, about the universal childcare that was recommended, oh, thirty years ago but never materialized. But it's too little and far too slowly.

We've started talking to the family of one of the kiddo's best friends about forming a social bubble. The province has suggested forming bubbles with up to ten people. Everyone in the bubble will mask up around anyone outside the bubble, but you can consider people inside the bubble as being part of your extended household. Since we've got a tiny urban backyard, it would let us have the other family over occasionally and give the kids a safe person to hang out with. Fingers crossed it happens.

[minoanmiss]

I wish we as a society can have a conversation about. I feel like part of what's making America be so bad at this whole lockdown thing is that so much of our livelihood depends on continued work. Or at least, we think it does.

WORD.

[perspi]

If you sew or have access to a sewing machine, the fabric mask pattern on CraftPassion.com is excellent, in terms of fit and comfort. They have sizes for kids, too!

I use t-shirt yarn for the ties, usually, that go around the back of the head and they're very comfortable.

I'm currently making a big batch for our school district, but if you like I could send you some masks, too. Probably not till the middle of August or so, given how fast I'm going. :D

[potofsoup]

oof, yeah. It's definitely a reminder that oftentimes we choose our living situations mostly for evenings and weekends. Thankfully our complex has a pretty large yard, so we're not super stir-crazy yet. You know what would be a nice city service? Public wifi spots in parks. :) Gods, 2022 is still so far away, and right now the school situation -- I think my school is going to start remote, but there's still the question of to preschool or not to preschool. The number of preschool cases have gone up a lot in the last month due to re-opening... but if our state shuts down again (which it's doing), the cases might drop back down in a month or so...

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with your various logistics!

[potofsoup]

Yeah, thankfully Rutabaga is old enough to mostly understand what's going on. She's mostly missing on crucial 4yo socialization, but I guess ... so's all the other 4yos? So when she starts kindergarten (and hopefully this will be past), everyone will be in the same boat? It'll definitely make kindergarten and 1st grade a little harder, but hopefully things will even out by 2nd grade? (Plus, I remind myself that my own social awkwardness did not lead to me being a particularly unhappy adult.)

Good luck with social bubbling! We might do something similar. Part of the challenge is that we locked down before Rutabaga made actual friends at preschool...

[potofsoup]

SIGH.

Like, I want a society that pays essential workers $$$$$ and gives them free health care, and for everyone else, have a serious conversation about what work is necessary, and to what extent. (4 day workweek? on-call basis?) We need to separate the concept of work from livelihood. Having a roof over our heads and food in our tummies should not be predicated on work.

[potofsoup]

Oh! That's super helpful, thanks! I do have a sewing machine -- I don't break it out much because it's noisy when the child is asleep. We have surgical masks, but it's nice to have some backups, and Miss Rutabaga is much pickier about wearing masks. I will do some poking around with the pattern, etc. <3

[perspi]

You're very welcome! I can share links to a number of patterns and tutorials (mask patterns are mostly either the flat pleated kind like the surgical ones, or the shaped for your face kind like the Winter Soldier's), if you like, and have some favorite online places to buy quilting fabric, too. I'm happy to help with any questions!

[potofsoup]

Hmm! I've discovered this study: https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.04.17.20069567v2.full.pdf and it seems like Mask J, which is described as "Cotton and 2-ply cotton muslin pocket without filter and with elastic ear loops. Finished size 21 cm × 16 cm pleated to 7 cm along short edge" seemed to do the best amongst the fabric masks. I have a couple of fabric masks, picked up from various places, but have been wearing surgical masks because they feel more comfortable, and I was worried about the variance of reliability with the fabric masks. But doing something 2-3 layered with some pleating sounds fun to figure out and will probably get me what I want. (I actually don't work well with patterns -- I'm a "squint and sew" sort of person.)

Thanks for prodding me on this!